Lindsay Lohan’s Sucking Money Out of Ashton Kutcher, Too

“I wonder if this teleprompter’s rich…”
Because Ashton Kutcher needs more comparisons to Charlie Sheen in his life, the National Enquirer reports Lindsay Lohan has been using him like an ATM, too, because getting up on time and not doing drugs is hard. You wouldn’t understand:

Although their brief romance was never serious, “Ashton has always had a soft spot in his heart for her, and Lindsay totally exploits it,” said a source.
“She has been asking to borrow hundreds of dollars at a time with the promise to pay him back ‘in a couple of weeks.’ Ashton knows he’s never going to see the money again, but he’s very loyal,” continued the source. “Even to a train wreck like Lindsay.”
Lindsay and Ashton’s friendship dates back to 2003 when she was “Punk’d” on his MTV practical joke show of the same name. She also once appeared with Ashton on “That ’70s Show.” But while Ashton’s career – and bank account – has skyrocketed since then, Lindsay’s life has been consumed by legal problems, stints in rehab and financial woes.

I’ll just assume their communications look exactly like this:

L. LOHAN:  remember when I was 15 & u watched wilmer buy me from my mom
but didn't call the police?
A-DAWG:  sigh... there's a grand in your account
how long are you going to keep doing this??
L. LOHAN:  4. EVER. <3 <3 <3 <3

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